Life as an extraverted introvert

If you’re anything like me, you’ll understand the juxtaposing feeling of wanting to stay at home and going out with your friends at the same time. I think that in order to understand what extraverted introversion is, it is important to know the fundamental meaning of the two words. Extraverted people aren’t always outgoing and talkative and introverted people are not always shy or crave alone time. These words refer to where someone gets their energy. Whilst introverts gain most of their energy from alone time or being with small groups, extraverts gain their energy from being with people and socialising. But no person is either purely introverted or purely extraverted. Everyone is a mixture of the two. I have done personality tests, which say that I am around 35% extraverted and 65% introverted. This is why I identify as an extroverted introvert and not an introverted extravert and why I refuse to just be labeled as just an introvert. Here are some things, which are important when understanding extraverted introverts.

1. We primarily gain my energy and happiness from being alone or in very small groups of people. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t like hanging out with a bunch of friends. I will very happily sit at home and watch TV shows but if I get invited out, I will most likely be happy to go. Sometimes us extraverted introverts just need a bit of encouragement, and once we are out, we will be happy to be there.

2. We hate talking in front of crowds. This may not go for every extraverted introvert out there, but talking in front of a class or a large group of people is very scary for me! That doesn’t mean I am shy, and I would be happy talking to a large group of my friends, but a large group of acquaintances is quite daunting!

3. We are good listeners. We can listen to your stories for hours, this is why I personally prefer small hangouts – they’re so much more intimate and you can have a genuine and interesting conversation with someone without having to take part in small talk, which often comes with large groups.

4. Despite needing alone time, sometimes we do get lonely. Don’t get me wrong; I really do need time to myself but not too much time. There’s only so much of myself that I can tolerate.

5. We don’t just like things. We love things. If I get obsessed with something, it fully consumes me and I get very distracted from doing things that I should be!

If this sounds like any of your characteristics, you may also be an extraverted introvert (or maybe an introverted extravert!) Despite identifying as an extraverted introvert, If someone told me I could only be one, I would definitely say introvert. If you want to find out your personality type, go to 16personalities.com

N.B These points by no means apply to everyone who identifies as an extraverted introvert, these are just some of my experiences.

Thanks for reading!

Frances Bluebell

#extravert #introvert #personality